You’re a Mom in your 40’s trying to figure out your life after many years of dedicating it to your family. It’s not that you no longer help your family, but your role has changed from supermom to back seat mom. It can sometimes feel lonely. You have a million questions & aren’t sure what the future will look like.
With a family of my own, I know how hard that is. I’m living it too.
I became a mom at 21 years old with the birth of my first child in 1999. Her first years in school were trying as we couldn’t figure out why she was so “different”. We decided that homeschool was the path we wanted to take. This helped some of the issues we faced, but presented new ones.
When our oldest was in 4th grade, we decided to have her tested. Academically, they found she had autistic traits. So we decided to also have her tested medically. She was diagnosed with Aspergers (no longer in the DSM), ADHD, and a learning disability. We enrolled her part-time in school and homeschooled her the rest of the time.
Changes in Motherhood
In 2017, we had her re-diagnosed and since she was nearing graduation, we also decided we needed to plan for her future. We contacted Vocational Rehab Services, learned about guardianship, applied for SSI, and set up various IEP meetings to enroll her after graduation into a transition program through the school district. She graduates this year, but will move on to learning life skills in this setting instead of heading to college, like most kids her age.
In the meantime, we also have two other children dealing with anxiety and depression and have our hands full with all that entails. In 2018, I decided I no longer wanted to homeschool and will be sending all my children off into the world instead of teaching them. This was because of several reasons, but mainly because I was physically, emotionally, and mentally breaking down. At my last visit to the doctor, she said she thought I was in early menopause and I was battling painful fibroids. Because of this, we decided as a family that Mom just couldn’t keep going this way. And now I’m out of a job.
In an effort to get better, I began counseling at the end of 2017, removed all sugars from my diet in 2018, and started working out and learning new habits to help me. I picked up several new hobbies such as hand lettering and watercolors and took up blogging again (after years of not doing it). My husband and I decided to get real counseling help because our marriage was also tearing at the seems due to all the stress in our house. After months of that, our relationship is better and we are growing together instead of apart.
Why I Started This Blog
I started this blog to help others in similar situations. Maybe you are struggling with your own transitions, or your marriage isn’t where it should be, or you just need to know you aren’t crazy. That’s why I’m here. Turning 40 can sometimes seem like a death and everything is changing, but my hope is to embrace this new adventure and have fun with it.
You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Google Plus at @mbuckdesigns. I also have Pinterest page which you can find here. If at any time you need my help, feel free to email me at michelle at michellebuck.com. I look forward to hearing from you!