My love for spring has slowly been fading since dealing with the pushy salesman, constant road construction, and trying to diet with the icecream man playing his “pied piper” song. Every year is the same. Someone comes a knocking on my door trying to sell some service. On Monday, it was a guy who wanted to kill spiders. Today, it’s a guy who wants to do windows (even though we just put in brand new windows last summer). My method has always been to sick them on my husband. But today, that didn’t even work. No sirree. They wanted to just schedule a guy to come without my husband’s permission. I was about to pull out the fist a cuffs.
The method they use to sell is the same. “I’m in the neighborhood helping out your neighbors. You know Jim & Jane down the road? I’m helping them with some home projects and I’d like to give you a deal since we’re already in the neighborhood.” I’m like “Who the rock is Jim and Jane?” Seriously, who talks to their neighbors? Not this girl. And also, if I did talk to them, I still wouldn’t buy your crappy service just because my neighbors did. I’m not a lemming.
I decided to create a sign because my last one blew off in a storm. Plus it was old and seemed to not do the trick. Either salesmen can’t read or they just don’t care. Either way, it doesn’t raise my trust level to buy from someone who can’t read or just disregards the rules. I’ve had several ring the doorbell and then say, “Oh I didn’t see your sign.” and then continue with their pitch. Sure….sure.
So I found a sign I liked online and decided to copy it. I also printed it on bright green paper and then laminated it because I like to laminate things. Brings out the homeschool mom in me. So here goes:
If they can’t read that, then they should be labelled “legally blind” or possibly “legally blonde”. Either way, get off my yard you filthy animal…er, I mean salesman.
I have no idea if it will solve the age old problem of people trying to sell crap I do not need. It also will not help me learn to say a big fat NO right to their face either. I struggle with saying no. It sometimes feels mean to tell someone to take a hike. I know there’s nicer ways of saying it, but I tend to stumble over my words and I still can’t utter a proper NO.
When I was growing up in the city, I don’t ever remember anyone trying to sell us pest control, a new vacuum, or their own version of a Savior. I do remember we had an ant and spider infestation. I called pest control. It turned out a good old shoe did the trick. That and hairspray and a vacuum hose. These days, everyone wants utopia. “Oh my goodness, there’s a spider in my garden!” Yep, that’s where they live. As God intended. How strange we now pay money to rid our neighborhood of spiders (which kill other insects. Seems idiotic to me.)
I would pay big money, however, for pest control that got rid of salesmen. How much does that cost?