I decided to let someone go today. Someone that I once hung out with, talked to, and was close to. Our phone conversations used to take up hours, now we rarely speak to each other. We used to have monthly get-togethers at Starbucks and talk about our lives, our kids. That hasn’t happened for a long time. We rarely see each other anymore.
On the off chance we do see each other, our relating is forced. I tried to text her yesterday and wrote a lengthy text and all I got was a few words back. No response on the actual main topic of what I said. I assume I’m not even on her radar anymore. It hurts to mean so little to someone who was once my closest friend. Worse yet, she’s family by marriage, but I always considered her on the same team as me. Now I feel like I’m just not good enough for her.
The last few get-togethers with family we weren’t invited, or they turned down our invitation to hang out. If I did something to her, I’ll never know. And I don’t feel like I care to know anyway. I’m tired of begging and pleading for people to stay in my life; running around asking what I did to annoy them. I don’t care. Fly away, little birdy. If you want to come back, I wasn’t the one that closed the door. You did.
I guess I’ll see her around and hear about her “through the grapevine”. I’ll be the indifferent party. “Oh that’s nice.” You are just somebody that I used to know.
I’m turning 41 in a few days and if I learned anything from life, it’s this: It’s too damn short to exert energy on people who just don’t care. And I’m over it honestly.
I’ll put forth the version of Michelle that is private, guarded, and distant. But maybe that’s what she wanted anyway. I guess I should thank her for tossing out hints for the past few years. I just kept holding on, thinking we were still friends. I don’t think we’ve really been friends for awhile. To be quite honest, I feel a little hurt by it, but I’m not all that sad. What am I really missing out on anyway? The only thing I’m letting go of is the lie that we were friends, that she cared about me, and that if I just tried harder, we’d be close again.
Nope. Letting go actually feels good. I should’ve done it sooner.
It might be time to let go if you notice these patterns:
- You grow apart, or want different things
- Trust is missing
- You don’t know what you mean to the other person anymore
- They make you feel bad, or your mental health suffers
- You have less and less in common or you can’t see eye-to-eye
- There’s no reciprocation – You are the only one trying
- There’s no encouragement or support
- You feel needy or clingy and the person makes you feel like you are no one
(Tips taken from: Elite Daily)
It’s important to remember that we don’t owe anyone our serenity. If someone makes us feel bad, doesn’t exert any effort into the relationship, and is showing you through the act of silence and ignoring that they don’t care–trust their actions. It speaks a lot louder than their mouth.